Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
