...so i touched it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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