How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
