i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think i have herpe
just one?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
