as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize