True but thats because hes a fetus.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
