I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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