u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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