His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
