his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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