So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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