I accidentally had phone sex last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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