just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
