I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the day after is always just damage control
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
