is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
