I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize