We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
