i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
