Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize