If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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