Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it was like eating out sand paper
Swine flu is the new snow day.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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