i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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