ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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