well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
