I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
