If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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