Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Two words: blizzard sex
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize