you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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