Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
