In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
