I must be too annoying 4 u.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
