my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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