peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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