i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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