saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
