In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
