Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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