At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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