dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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