Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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