my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
this boner is exhausting
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
