I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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