I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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