I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
