just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
