I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
