I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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