I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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