I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
