Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
