I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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