I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
