You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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