1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
