Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
