Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
