Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
