yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
