It's Friday. Sex?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
