Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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