No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
