If that was your dad, he is hot
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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