i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Damn victory sex feels great
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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