I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
