He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
