i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
