I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
