to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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