I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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