Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
