Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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