There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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