I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
